asobouyo | 39th Teddy Bear [voice/action]

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39th Teddy Bear [voice/action]

[Elicia had been sleeping next to Gracia off and on now, after papa had left. She thinks maybe it makes her mama better, that she's close and there. And like so many other days, Elicia gets up and rubs her face, bleary-eyed and ready to start the day. Only, what greeted her was the silence of a empty, blue room; the essence of it—everything that made it her mother's—was sucked out. All she had was a pillow behind her and a blanket clutched in her hands, and for a moment, she doesn't understand.

It takes some time before she finally does.

The house is really quiet. Winry and Ed must be doing the things they do every day. She numbly leaves the bed and goes into the bathroom, stripping down like always, turning on the water and being careful that she doesn't make it hot. She gets soap in her eyes, but it's okay, because it washes out. When that's over with, the clothes come next—it's a dress, and she puts her ties in her hair, trying to make them match evenly on each side; it sort of looks right, she thinks, so she goes to the kitchen and uses a chair to get to the cabinet so that she could get the cereal box. And then the milk. Spoon and bowl. She doesn't make orange slices because the knives are bad and off limits. And then she sets the table and eats fast.

It's all wrong. But she's had nightmares about a day like this, only soothed when she woke up and looked at her mother, or wandered into her room in the dead of night, just for a look. But now nothing's left in her mama's room, and the fog of loneliness pushes on her from all sides as she sits on the couch and waits for something to change.

Over time, she lets herself cry. It builds up like a wave traveling toward sand, gradually peaking as the force carries it. It's okay, she thinks. She'll come back, or papa. They wouldn't just leave her behind for long. Not even the malnosso could change that about them. Right? They'd come back and there wouldn't be any reason to cry.]

[Voice]

Mama—

[She breathes in, voice watery and unsure. Everyone had to do things like this. This was the right thing to do. This is what people here had to do sometimes, for the ones they loved. She inhales a shaky sob.]

Gracia... Hughes... Went home.

[It's weird to say her full name like that. She doesn't like it. But she has to be grown up right now.

Later in the day, she'll be out working on the garden Raine had helped her replant, and has no intention of going inside until the sun starts dipping low. She doesn't really feel like playing today. A lot of her presents from the birthday are left scattered in her room, where she's left them from the night before Gracia had left.]

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[That leaves him silent for a moment. And his voice is even quieter when he finally speaks again.]

We're--you and I--family?

[And he's practically holding his breath, chest tight. The implications of that are vast and he isn't sure how to begin processing it.]

[Pepper doesn't get it at first; the sudden quiet and the shock. Then he asks, and it's her turn to stare in disbelief. It's such an obvious notion to her, one that crept into her mind a long time ago.

And Tony's completely missed it. Being together, living together, and he's never made that connection.]

You know, considering how much of a genius you are, you're also very dumb sometimes. Of course we're family. What do you think we are otherwise?

[But that's just it--he hasn't realized it. Because defining relationships is oh-so-tricky for him. He knew he cared about her more than anyone else, the person he'd do anything for, do all those adjoining things related to that word he doesn't quite know how to say--

And it makes him silent again, and this time, he doesn't know what to say, what to ask. He didn't think of her the way he did Howard. Even Rogue, in that strange, strange way. That was his exposure to family.

And all it does is make him realize he's even worse at this than he realized and how could even ever raise a kid if he doesn't even understand how family works in the first place?]

[Pepper lets out a quiet sigh, not at all liking the look on Tony's face. She doesn't mean the words as an insult, but he's taking them to heart anyway, which is exactly the sort of thing she means when she says he can be dumb.]

Don't. I know what you're doing, and I'm telling you to stop it right now. [Because she knows Tony better than anyone, and his expression is all too telling.] There's a lot of things you can't put words to, and that's okay. You get the important things right--like holding a crying girl even though you're terrified. Or saying you appreciate me, even if you have to make a joke to get it out.

That's what really matters.

I'm not--

[Terrified. But yes, he is. He's so far outside his comfort zone, his familiar circle of behaviors and interactions--that's one of the things Luceti had done to him. It has changed him. He has personal friends here--more than he had back home, certainly. And there were teens and kids he looked out for--why? Was it friendship? His mind refuses to define them, as if labeling them as such would somehow cheapen it, so he doesn't. They were somethings. The people he cared about around here were somethings.

And Pepper was an extra special something. He knows she's right about the things he can't say. Despite his ability to talk and talk, there's so many times when he can't get out what he needs to. It makes him feel vulnerable. Small. Like the situation isn't under his control.

Everything he's feeling right now. It's been out of his control from the second Pepper told him about what happened.

He wishes it was easier. That he didn't so often keep himself from saying the things he needs to. But it makes him feel like he's putting himself out there, even if he's clearly already out there when he's holding a girl who exhausted herself crying because her parents are gone, and she begged him not to leave and is still holding onto him so tightly--

He reaches out, taking Pepper's hand in his free one, and meets her eyes with obvious worry and purpose.]

I appreciate you, Pepper.

[And that's a lot of straightforward for him to be.]

[He starts to argue, but catches himself, and it's for the best. It's one thing for Tony to keep what he feels bottled up, safe inside himself where he doesn't have to see it as real. But he needs to be aware of certain things, so he doesn't risk losing them. That people care about him, and that he cares about them, and that it's okay even if he's afraid of what it might mean.

He slips his hand into hers, and Pepper curls her fingers around his. She's a bit nervous when he looks at her that way, because she can see his determination, and the anxiety that goes with it.

And then he says something she doesn't expect. A feeling she knows he has, yes, but the words are direct, with no humor or snark to soften them. She's honestly shocked, but only for a moment before she smiles.]

I appreciate you too.

[That and so much more, but this is already such a huge step. Pepper squeezes Tony's hand, then leans over, giving Tony a quick and careful kiss.]

[He kisses her back, gentle and direct, before he exhales and wills away the tension still building in his body. There were still things he'd need to say. Sometime. But telling her that much has given him a measure of peace and he feels a little less terrified by this sleeping girl in his arms and her pleading with him not to go.

He's never really held a kid before. It's....

Nice.

And even though now he knows he's got more things to figure out than he initially realized, it doesn't seem so hopeless anymore.]

[Less hopeless is a good way to describe it, and Pepper is glad to see the tension slowly leaving Tony's face. He seems so much calmer now, and while none of this has suddenly become easy, it at least feels bearable now.]

Do you want something to drink or anything? I can see what's in their kitchen. [Tony is pretty much stuck until Elicia wakes up, and that's okay. Pepper doesn't at all mind being his personal assistant during times like these. She wants to make him comfortable, to stretch out this feeling of calm and peace for as long as she can help make it last.

Although she won't be hurt if he says he's fine either. She's just as good sitting with him, holding his hand in hers.]

I'm good. [His mouth is dry, but his stomach is still in knots and the thought of drinking isn't appealing at the moment. Shocker, right? He wonders where the two blondies are--he's pretty damn sure both Ed and Winry would have interesting things to say about his current situation. Even in light of circumstances.

He's still surprised by it, too, after all.]

But--thanks.

[Pepper nods, knowing Tony will tell her if that changes. She offers him a gentle smile.] You're welcome.

[With Tony's hand still in hers, she watches Elicia, wondering how long the girl will stay asleep, and how she'll feel once she's awake. The pain won't have gone, but hopefully crying some of it out will have helped.]

[She's out for a good twenty minutes, actually. When she finally wakes up, it's a process--squirming, blinking blearily, going back asleep, repeat the process. She finally sits up rubbing her eye with four straightened fingers.]

... Is it late now?

[Yes, she was obviously asleep for hours and hours. She hopes Ed and Winry aren't coming home too quickly, because she's not ready, and she still needs to tell them--and they need something to eat...]

What'm I gonna make for dinner...

Not that late, Short Stack. [He's a champ and gives her a smile, because if he had dollars to bet here, he would bet that she needs one.]

If you're hungry--[Well.

He probably shouldn't make something. Unless it is Eggos. He's good at Eggos. But maybe they could all figure out something together.]

--then I'm sure the three of us can come up with something.

[Pepper finishes the thought, offering her own smile to Elicia. The girl seems calmer, but Pepper's sure that's just temporary. Still, it's probably best to get her to eat while it lasts.]

Would you mind showing Mr. Tony and I where the kitchen is?

[She nods, getting to her bare feet and starting toward the kitchen. Her nose is a little stuffy and her pigtails are frizzed from her sleep, but she's quick to wake herself up, if only for the sake of being helpful to her guests.]

It's this way...! We always have lots of stuff...

[There are lots of fruits and vegetables. Lots of things good for a healthy diet. Tony would probably frown at the lack of instant food around here, though.]

[He's glad they'll have the task to distract them, because he's completely at a loss as to what he should say next. Elicia seems distracted too, if even superficially. She isn't crying at the moment. And that has to be an improvement.]

And what do you want? I think it's safe to say you can have whatever you want.

[In light of circumstances.]

[Pepper does her best to smile, although she's just as glad as Tony is for the opportunity to do something. At this point, she's not sure either of them can offer anything more in terms of comfort.

Lunch is a different story. Even a late lunch.]

Definitely safe to say. [Although Pepper has to hope Elicia picks something she can make. She's an amateur cook at best, although she can follow directions. She's definitely above the Eggo level.]

I dunno... Um...

[She looks up, unsure, voice lowering.]

What do heroes eat?

[Of course she wants to eat hero food. He gives Pepper a glance.]

...Sandwiches?

[She's quick to nod when Tony looks at her.] Heroes eat sandwiches. Hero sandwiches, even.

[Although they may not have the rolls necessary for true hero sandwiches. Pepper isn't going to be picky, however, especially if it makes Elicia smile. She looks down to the girl.]

What would you like on yours?

...

[She looks up to Tony on that one as well, waiting, as if he has the perfect answer to this. Well, Iron Man? What is a hero sandwich like? Because she'll make hers exactly how yours is gonna be.]

[Wow, no pressure. What would be on a hero sandwich? Excellent question. Only the noblest of meats and cheeses. Though qualifiers for noble meats and cheeses seem a little vague.]

--Well. American cheese. That seems like a good place to start. And not mayo. Mayo is for villain sandwiches.

[Oh boy. Pepper gives Tony a sympathetic look, then goes for the fridge. She'd been hoping to get Elicia's preferences, but since she knows Tony's, she has an idea of what to look for. American cheese isn't a surprise, although she has to hold back a groan at the exclusion of mayo.]

Well, I don't think mayo itself is inherently evil. If you just use a little, it's okay. [But she pulls out a bottle of mustard anyway.]

They've got ham and turkey. [Since Tony will probably want the suggestions.]

[She nods, and for the moment her misery is replaced with some helpful determination.] I dunno which is more like hero food, but turkey tastes best to me! Is that okay for a hero sandwich?

[No, Pepper, it is very much evil. But he won't protest the fact. Mayo seems like a pretty trivial thing to argue about at the moment.]

Turkey? You know--I was just about to say that. Perfect choice, really. You're a natural at this whole hero sandwich making business.

[They'll table the moral standing of mayonnaise until another time then. Pepper gets the turkey, then sets out what she has so far on the counter.]

Lettuce and tomato to finish it off? [They're safe vegetables, and pretty standard for sandwiches.]

39th Teddy Bear [voice/action]

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